PAINS

if i never own it, maybe i won't felt this pain of losing it..
i don't know how to describe my feelings now actually..
it's so complicated.. i don't want to talk to anyone about this..
i can't blame anyone..cause i'm the one who made this decision..
heart to heart..i've changed.. yea..
last time i thought i will change to a more cheerful girl..
but then i always fail.. i still can't control my emotions and temper everytime..
i can't stand it when some people were doing something that i don't like..
i will straight away scold that person no matter who he or she is and no matter what place we are in..
i know its a very bad habit.. but i cant control it.. i'm still learning..
and one thing that is bad about me is that i never think that i'm the one who did the wrong things..
i know this make many people hate me, angry with me or what ..
okay.. whatever..
i noticed that i type a lot of nonsense in my blog actually..
i want to waste my time here.. cause i dont want to keep thinking about something that make me down..
yea.. recently, i am suffering from heart breaks and many things that make me so so sad..
but i'm actually forcing myself not to show up my emotions whenever i go out..
i know its stupid .. i can just tell anyone and share with them. but i don't know how to start..
so i chose to face it by myself..
i keep telling myself that i will be okay.. i will grow stronger after this..
i know it is a hard time for me now.. and maybe ..just maybe one day when i cant stand it.. i'll do stupid things.. i don't know.. its not under my control..
haiz.. wish all the best for me ..